TIP of the WEEK: The Trouble with Stuff

Our kids have a tendency to collect. Some collect items of a particular theme ( like every possible wrestling magazine that has ever been published, ever!) Some collect toys. Some collect papers from school or coupons. Whatever the collection, at some point it begins to resemble a hoard and it is at that point when emotional attachment becomes unreasonable. Any attempt made to manage the collection is near impossible. My suggestion is to try not to get to the point where peace of mind and personal security are tied to inanimate objects. It is tempting to allow our kids to collect, especially when we find something that they are so interested in. We want to see them happy, see them pour their energy into something positive but the problem is, like so many other things, they can't stop at moderate. Soon that harmless hobby has taken over their rooms, your house and unfortunately their minds. If you see an over interest in one thing, you are watching the beginning of hoarding behavior and it can be stopped. Having an interest in a sports team or the weekly sales flyers is fine as long as they are able to enjoy other interests as well. Family members and friends will latch on when they hear that your son or daughter likes a particular thing and suddenly you have 1000 fire trucks or Minnie Mouses in your child's room. You all know what I mean...

Here's what helps- For every one item that comes in, donate one item to a local charity. Let your child choose the item and let them go with you to donate it. Giving items away not only promotes empathy and compassion for those less fortunate it also decreases the likelihood of an unreasonable emotional attachment forming (not to mention it keeps your house a lot cleaner). We know that an organized and simple environment is the most beneficial for our kids. Clutter and abundance creates chaos in the minds of people with poor executive function. Too much stuff hurts them. Ask family members to check with you before buying gifts so that you can manage what comes into the house. We want to see our kids happy but remind yourself that what they want and what they need are almost never the same thing when you have a child with PWS. Start young and it is likely that this behavior can be avoided. And if you have already bought your child every Justin Beiber notebook, t-shirt, travel mug and shower curtain for Christmas that you could find, don't beat yourself up, New Years resolutions are right around the corner...

Submitted by:
Patrice Carroll
Manager of PWS Services

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"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other." 

~Author Unknown

TIP of the WEEK: Hoarding

We know that once our kids do something that they find rewarding it is very difficult to get them to stop. Hoarding is one of those behaviors. The best way to handle hoarding behaviors is to stop them before they happen. If you see your child starting to collect certain items try to encourage them to diversify their interests. Our kids are more likely to find ways of releasing anxiety if they have a broad array of activities and less likely to seek stress reduction in the form of hoarding. For many children, hoarding equals safety. The more they have of their desired items, the more secure they feel. You will know if this behavior has become problematic if you see your child compulsively collecting items, stealing to obtain certain items or refusing to part with them.

Like other compulsive behaviors it is often unhelpful to nag or constantly ask for the behavior to stop, but there are some things that you can do.

• Set a standard for cleanliness. Take a picture of their room in a tolerable condition, if the collection goes beyond what you consider acceptable then items need to be discarded or donated. Doing this allow for some collecting but the expectations are clear and predictable as to what you will allow and not allow.

• Put it to good use. I have known individuals to make jobs out of their hoarding tendency. One woman collected coupons and made a job out of clipping and sorting for her neighbors. Another woman had a small business recycling cans and bottles.

• Appeal to their sensitive side. Children will be more willing to part with their hoard if they know that it will be put to good use by people in need. Local libraries will usually accept donations of magazines, local shelters will take clothing, recycling centers will accept newspapers. Doing a good deed for the community or environment could be just the motivation needed to clear out collected items.

Hoarding takes on many forms but is almost always connected to a lack of control over ones life and a need to feel more secure. Look at what areas of your child's life could be lacking in these areas and you will be well on your way to getting a handle on this problematic behavior.


Submitted by:
Patrice Carroll